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maryxmasI KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I?
By DONNA LYPCHUK
I am the invention of a language that is not my own. What am I?
In my time, I have been compared to many animals. When I was young I was called a chick or a kitten. Those who thought of me fondly called me a bunny, ducky or a filly. Those I displeased referred to me as a bitch, a pig, a cow or a nag. If I was shy, they called me a mouse. If I aroused lust I was referred to as a minx, a beaver, a pussy and a vixen. As I aged they called an old bat, an old bird, an old crow -- harridan, hag, sow!
What am I that is like so many animals?
My appearance has been compared to a bag, a dish and a doll. I have been named slag, after the slag heap. I am a scrubber, a trollop, a jezebel and a floozie.
Some have described me as pin-money; poets have described me as porcelain and pretty. Sometimes I am referred to by an aspect of dimension. Example: broad. I am dowdy and drab, blowsy and a gab. I can be bad, rad, very, very cool or hot! No wonder so many men refer to me as stuff, as in "Did you check out that stuff?"
Sometimes I am just "it," as in "Are you getting 'it'?" Sometimes I am "any," as in "Are you getting any?" If I express my sexuality I am a slattern and a slut. If I don't, I am straitlaced or frigid. I am the Ice Queen. I am Juicy Lucy.
It is not unusual to have my whole described by a single part of my anatomy. As in "Hey, Legs!" Or "tit" As in "Got to get me some tit."
I am a weapon. I am the old ball-and-chain, a battle-axe, a pain. When I am perceived as strong I am aegis and amazon. Circean and virago. When I am perceived as chaste I become maiden and nubile. Vestal and virgin.
You are what you wear. I am a bloomer and a bluestocking, a muff and a petticoat. I am the "skirt" walking down the street. I am also often compared to a container. I am a hose and a honeypot, a dish and a vase. I am vessel. My hips are the cradle of civilization.
The ability to deceive is often attributed to me. I am cunning and cute. When I say no I mean yes. When I say yes I mean no. I am a cocktease and a coquette. I am an enchantress. My nicknames are Delilah and siren, medusa and witch. I lie?
What am I that is so irresistible that men fear my charms?
I am also a destroyer. I am banshee and crone. I am hag and harpy, siren and vamp. I am a snatch and a scamp. A succubus. I'll suck the life right out of you. I'm a hooker.
A manhunter.
A nutcracker.
Jaws. A Venus Flytrap. I am fate. I'm gonna getchya?
I am edible. I am a tart, a cherry, a crumpet and a honey. I can be cheesecake. I'm a piece of meat. My genitals have been compared to seafood. What am I that is so delicious?
I am often referred to in terms that describe a wound. I'm a crack. A gash. A rib from Adam's side. I am less than a person known only by a part of myself. What am I that is so amputated?
I do not speak. I chatter and gossip. I am a harridan and flibbertigibbet. I am the Whore of Babble On. I have many secrets. What am I that has been denied expression?
I'm a molly, a sister, a sheila and a squaw. I'm a scold, a tomboy, a biddy and a strumpet. I'm "loose." I'm a silly old goose. What am I that is so emasculating?
I'm your anima, your sister, your lady, your maid. I am androgynous, butch, a feminist, a dyke. I'm the ugly duckling and the swan. I am hysteria itself. I'm frail. I am your mother. I am nymphet and nymphomaniac. I am butch. I am a womb. I am a flower, the burning bush and the inside of the whale. What am I that is so dangerous and safe?
My presence is an anathema and an aphrodisiac. I am April, August, Easter, Europe, Friday, June, May and Cassandra. I am an invention of language and language was invented just to describe my genitals: words like trivial, weird and quaint. I am the C word. What am I, then?
I am your beautiful bride, your courtesan and concubine. I'm your missus and mistress, hussy and fishwife. I'm the fuckin' queen, the girl of your dreams. I am also your worst nightmare. What am I?
I'm the Madonna and the whore. I'm a bit, a crack, a fluff, a hole, a Jane, a nooky, a piece, a screw, stuff, a piece of tail and a twat. I'm a bat, a bird, a bitch, a bunny, a chick, a cow, a crow, a dog, a ducky, a filly, a hack, a harridan, a hen and a minx. I'm a mount, a mouse, a nag, a pig, a pussy, a shrew, a sow, a tit, a vixen, a bag, a battle-axe, a frump, a hooter, a broad, a girlie, a dish, a doll, a hag, a scrubber, a slattern, a slut and a screamer. I'm a tart, a trollop, a bloomer, a muff, a skirt, a dish, a honeypot, a cocktease, a nan, a siren and a witch. I'm a banshee, a crone, a harpy, a termagant, a vamp, a cheesecake, a cherry, a crumpet, a piece of meat, a rib, a dyke, a cupcake, a molly, a sheila, a squaw and a queen. I'm a ball and chain, a slot, a vase, a hose bag, a "ho," an Amazon, an anima, a harpy, a nymphet, a siren and a suttee. I'm a babe, a lass, a moll, a suffragette, a prude, a sister, a dame, a biddy, a hussy, a slag, a snatch, a sorceress, a crack, a gash, a jamtart, a bawd, a tramp, a trollop and a tomboy! I'm a flibbertigibbet and a piece of ass, and best of all, I'm Daddy's little princess.
Do you know what I am?
I am woman.
Ask the Sphinx.
*Alternative names for what could simply be called a woman sourced from WomanWords: A Dictionary of Words About Woman by Jane Mills (Free Press/Maxwell MacMillan Canada)
By DONNA LYPCHUK
I am the invention of a language that is not my own. What am I?
In my time, I have been compared to many animals. When I was young I was called a chick or a kitten. Those who thought of me fondly called me a bunny, ducky or a filly. Those I displeased referred to me as a bitch, a pig, a cow or a nag. If I was shy, they called me a mouse. If I aroused lust I was referred to as a minx, a beaver, a pussy and a vixen. As I aged they called an old bat, an old bird, an old crow -- harridan, hag, sow!
What am I that is like so many animals?
My appearance has been compared to a bag, a dish and a doll. I have been named slag, after the slag heap. I am a scrubber, a trollop, a jezebel and a floozie.
Some have described me as pin-money; poets have described me as porcelain and pretty. Sometimes I am referred to by an aspect of dimension. Example: broad. I am dowdy and drab, blowsy and a gab. I can be bad, rad, very, very cool or hot! No wonder so many men refer to me as stuff, as in "Did you check out that stuff?"
Sometimes I am just "it," as in "Are you getting 'it'?" Sometimes I am "any," as in "Are you getting any?" If I express my sexuality I am a slattern and a slut. If I don't, I am straitlaced or frigid. I am the Ice Queen. I am Juicy Lucy.
It is not unusual to have my whole described by a single part of my anatomy. As in "Hey, Legs!" Or "tit" As in "Got to get me some tit."
I am a weapon. I am the old ball-and-chain, a battle-axe, a pain. When I am perceived as strong I am aegis and amazon. Circean and virago. When I am perceived as chaste I become maiden and nubile. Vestal and virgin.
You are what you wear. I am a bloomer and a bluestocking, a muff and a petticoat. I am the "skirt" walking down the street. I am also often compared to a container. I am a hose and a honeypot, a dish and a vase. I am vessel. My hips are the cradle of civilization.
The ability to deceive is often attributed to me. I am cunning and cute. When I say no I mean yes. When I say yes I mean no. I am a cocktease and a coquette. I am an enchantress. My nicknames are Delilah and siren, medusa and witch. I lie?
What am I that is so irresistible that men fear my charms?
I am also a destroyer. I am banshee and crone. I am hag and harpy, siren and vamp. I am a snatch and a scamp. A succubus. I'll suck the life right out of you. I'm a hooker.
A manhunter.
A nutcracker.
Jaws. A Venus Flytrap. I am fate. I'm gonna getchya?
I am edible. I am a tart, a cherry, a crumpet and a honey. I can be cheesecake. I'm a piece of meat. My genitals have been compared to seafood. What am I that is so delicious?
I am often referred to in terms that describe a wound. I'm a crack. A gash. A rib from Adam's side. I am less than a person known only by a part of myself. What am I that is so amputated?
I do not speak. I chatter and gossip. I am a harridan and flibbertigibbet. I am the Whore of Babble On. I have many secrets. What am I that has been denied expression?
I'm a molly, a sister, a sheila and a squaw. I'm a scold, a tomboy, a biddy and a strumpet. I'm "loose." I'm a silly old goose. What am I that is so emasculating?
I'm your anima, your sister, your lady, your maid. I am androgynous, butch, a feminist, a dyke. I'm the ugly duckling and the swan. I am hysteria itself. I'm frail. I am your mother. I am nymphet and nymphomaniac. I am butch. I am a womb. I am a flower, the burning bush and the inside of the whale. What am I that is so dangerous and safe?
My presence is an anathema and an aphrodisiac. I am April, August, Easter, Europe, Friday, June, May and Cassandra. I am an invention of language and language was invented just to describe my genitals: words like trivial, weird and quaint. I am the C word. What am I, then?
I am your beautiful bride, your courtesan and concubine. I'm your missus and mistress, hussy and fishwife. I'm the fuckin' queen, the girl of your dreams. I am also your worst nightmare. What am I?
I'm the Madonna and the whore. I'm a bit, a crack, a fluff, a hole, a Jane, a nooky, a piece, a screw, stuff, a piece of tail and a twat. I'm a bat, a bird, a bitch, a bunny, a chick, a cow, a crow, a dog, a ducky, a filly, a hack, a harridan, a hen and a minx. I'm a mount, a mouse, a nag, a pig, a pussy, a shrew, a sow, a tit, a vixen, a bag, a battle-axe, a frump, a hooter, a broad, a girlie, a dish, a doll, a hag, a scrubber, a slattern, a slut and a screamer. I'm a tart, a trollop, a bloomer, a muff, a skirt, a dish, a honeypot, a cocktease, a nan, a siren and a witch. I'm a banshee, a crone, a harpy, a termagant, a vamp, a cheesecake, a cherry, a crumpet, a piece of meat, a rib, a dyke, a cupcake, a molly, a sheila, a squaw and a queen. I'm a ball and chain, a slot, a vase, a hose bag, a "ho," an Amazon, an anima, a harpy, a nymphet, a siren and a suttee. I'm a babe, a lass, a moll, a suffragette, a prude, a sister, a dame, a biddy, a hussy, a slag, a snatch, a sorceress, a crack, a gash, a jamtart, a bawd, a tramp, a trollop and a tomboy! I'm a flibbertigibbet and a piece of ass, and best of all, I'm Daddy's little princess.
Do you know what I am?
I am woman.
Ask the Sphinx.
*Alternative names for what could simply be called a woman sourced from WomanWords: A Dictionary of Words About Woman by Jane Mills (Free Press/Maxwell MacMillan Canada)
